Warriors get drunk and end the world
by Meme Spartan
Summary: I didn't want to write something serious, so. EVERYONE. HAS. FUN.
1. Chapter 1

Bramblestar knew something was wrong when he saw Squirrelflight yelling at Birchfall for peeing on the apprentices. The whole clan was acting weird, come to think about it. Everyone had been walking around dizzily, their mews a slur. Everyone who had drank from the lake had become like this. The water was also a deep red. Then it hit him, the lake wasn't full of water anymore, it was full of champagne! Just as he realized someone yelled: "WOO! LEZ GET DIS PARTY STARHTED!" and finished rigging the disco ball and stereo, and everone came dancing out of the dens, Squirrelflight was doing the hula, Jayfeather was flirting with his own mom. Alderheart was peeing on Briarlight (That was just brutal!) It was madness. Bramblestar was so stunned he dropped his fresh-kill into a swarm of warriors. The warriors started to slap each other with every piece of prey they found.

Daisy was running into the wall over and over, Cloudtail had found a missle silo and was launching them all on ShadowClan, and Brightheart was trying to hug a bramble bush. Bramblestar knew it then. He had to... FIND A WAY TO JOIN IN! Yep, he ran to the lake as fast as his legs could carry him and took gaping mouthfuls of champagne, and soon started to swim in the lake...

Up in the stars, StarClan was laughing their heads off, some of them choking, at the scene in the clans below. They had become bored, so they spent DAYS removing the water from the lake and filling it with champagne. "Okay, okay!" Bluestar yelled. Let's see how RiverClan are doing...


	2. Riverclan has a good time

Down in RiverClan, it was complete CHAOS. Their fish had been soaked in champagne, so Riverclan had gotten it first. Mistystar was playing spin the bottle with a herself, using a fish as a bottle. All the real bottles were getting filled with lake champagne and thrown at the apprentices and kits, because the deputy said so. Somehow, Hawkfrost had come back alive and was was dunking all the queens' heads into toilets, and giving them and their kits swirlies. Mothwing dumped alcohol on the marigold, so when cats got injured in battle, they would be fighting drunk.

Somebody had rigged airhorns all over the camp and was blaring them nonstop. Willowshine was trying to eat all the elders' tails. Finally, Mistystar called a clan meeting.

"Alright- childs we is gonna blow all ze ShadowClanz hindquarters onto WindClan's facez!" she said with a slur to her voice. "YAAAAAA!" All the cats in the camp yelled then went to get tons of airhorns to destroy two clans with. Also, the kits were making dirt in the leader's nest. It was MADNESS.

Up in oh-so-mighty StarClan, all the cats were howling with laughter, even crying. Mosskit was trying to spank Mousefur, which was weird.

"Okay! Order in the whatever StarClan is!" Bluestar yelled. "Time to check on Windclan!" The WindClan cats roared with approval."

"Let's see what they're up to."

 **Alright guys, I'm gonna try to get out multiple chapters a week. Stay tuned for more Warriors get drunk and end the world!**


	3. WindClan FRAGs the bunnies

On WindClan territory, it was even worse than RiverClan. The kits were ruling the clan, while Onestar was playing with moss and trying to suckle from one of the queens. Smokekit had a cigar in her mouth, an OBEY cap on, and shades the size of her head, while Brindlekit ordered Harespring to drop and give her 50. Harespring did his best, but only managed to get to 1/9999999999999999999999999999 of a push up before collapsing. Kestrelflight was giving the sick cats MTN. Dew soaked moss instead of water soaked moss. The elders and queens were swimming in the stream that marked the border with ThunderClan. The river was full of beer here, instead of champagne. There was a ThunderClan patrol swimming in the stream too, but no one cared, since they were filled with insanity. Meanwhile, outside the camp, being outside hunting when the drunk craze started, Gorsetail, Crowfeather, and Emberfoot were throwing FRAG grenades instead of using their claws and teeth, which disintegrated the prey that was in the blast radius. Then suddenly, the whole of ShadowClan's hindquarters came flying up the moor, and tracked down and hit every WindClan cat on the moor. It was madness.

Up in StarClan, the cats were running out of new ways to express how much they were enjoying the scene below. Several StarClan cats were fading forever because of strokes and heart attacks from laughing. "It's time for ShadowClan!" Bluestar announced. "YAAAAAAAA!" the rest of StarClan yelled.

 **I don't know how many clans there can be... there's a limit on how many clans I can use... Should I start making some up? Reply in the reviews, please.**


	4. ShadowClan has lots of fun

In Shadowclan, it was CRAZY. Missiles were raining down from the sky (see chapter one), RiverClan had flown a jet plane into the leader's den, and Mintfur, Duskfur and Shadepaw were parachuting down from it, firing laser rifles at the dens, and ShadowClan retaliated with Star Wars blasters (I have no idea how they got all of those, but it must've been pretty weird.) Tawnypelt was backing and running over the fresh-kill pile over, and over, and over with a pickup truck. (I don't know where she got that either.)

Someone had rigged a disco ball in the leader's den as well as a LOT of airhorns. (The clans REALLY like airhorns for some reason) Stonetooth and Dawnpelt were facing off with lightsabers, and yelling stupid things like: "Use the force, Mickey Mouse!" and stuff like that. A powerful wind whipped up and drew the attention of all the ShadowClan and RiverClan warriors. Then Tawnypelt fell out of the pickup truck and someone ran her over. The clan held a funeral, but instead of burying her, they kept on making dirt on her body until it looked like she was buried. Suddenly, all the missiles froze in midair, and the wind increased in intensity. Cats could hear caterwauling from RiverClan, and were scrambling towards the dens. The kits cried out, queens rushed to try to help them. Warriors yelled: "Hit the deck!" Apprentices yelled: "What's a deck!?"

The wind whipped up and suddenly, all the hindquarters in the ShadowClan camp were blown out of the camp and onto the moor. Some cats began to chase them, but came to no avail, as they fell asleep as soon as they left camp. All of the ShadowClan hindquarters suddenly regenerated, so everything was fine. No one except for Rowanstar spoke. He mewed, **SWEAR ALERT!** "What the BLEEEPING HELL JUST HAPPENED?" No one knew so they fell asleep randomly. Happy days.

 **Alright, that's ShadowClan! Coming up next... Y'know, I'm not gonna tell! NYEH HEH HEH!**


	5. Announcement

Alright, guys. for those of you who are asking me if I will write more chapters, the answer is yes, of course. I have a couple of ideas for the next chapters. Keep on reviewing! I love reading all of your reviews, and Ive read every single one of yours so far. However, my writing process is being slowed down slightly, so it might take a couple more days to write and publish them.

Thanks so much, guys and gals! Peace!

-MysticPapyrus :D


	6. Double Loner Duo

NOTE: if you haven't finished all the warriors books, I recommend stopping right here and going to read them. NOTE #2: If you finished the last note, this happens before Ravenpaw (and maybe Barley) die.

In case you're wondering: Wait, how the hell did Ravenpaw and Barley get drunk? I'm getting to that. Anyway, the twolegs at the barn were having a dinner party with their friends, and one of them brought a crap ton of beer. There was so much that no one noticed when Ravenpaw and Barley got very interested, and decided yo drink a lot of it. I don't know why, maybe they thought it was yummy for their tummies? After a few bottles were chugged the two cats started to act crazy, smashing bottles over each other's heads, smoking, and other unspeakable acts. The twolegs didn't notice because they had all fainted into a drugged sleep on top of one another. (Ew) The two cats held a dog down and poured alcohol into its' eyes. (so sad) The dog instantly collapsed, and Ravenpaw and Barley decided to do that too. They lay in a heap and descended into their own dreams.

Ravenpaw woke up into a dream. There was a lake of champagne in front of him, and he leapt into it, only to find it dissolve beneath his paws. He wailed for it to come back, cried to StarClan. But StarClan were too busy ending yet another Dark Forest late-night party with their bazookas. Those Dark Forest warriors KNEW that there was no excuse to avoid bedtime! :( Ravenpaw was sad.

Barley also woke into a dream that night, only this time, in his dream, there were HUNDREDS of cats in front of him, all made out of champagne. He leapt towards one, but it dissolved before he could touch it. He tried again, only to get the same results. He tried again, and again, and again, but to no avail. He too, cried out to his ancestors, then realized they were bloodthirsty, dead members of BloodClan, and shut his face instantly.

Barley and Ravenpaw woke up and the exact same instant and began slapping each other at lightspeed, just because they could.

 **This took me less than 1 night to write, but it was 1 night of writing STRAIGHT. The only reason I continue this series is because of you guys. I appreciate you so much! Keep writing reviews! ;) (Longest chapter yet, 418 words! RECORD!)**

 **-MysticPapyrus**


	7. Kinda badokay news

I'm kinda running short on ideas, and I need the neccesary books to know all the characters to choose from in the story. I will probably do SkyClan, I can't do BloodClan because all the cats specified with names in the books are now dead (Scourge, Bone, Boulder I think) And after that, well... Maybe a made-up clan. I don't know... I might just plop a bunch of OC's in there (Yours if you want them, put them in the reviews and I'll try to put them in when the time comes.) So... that's in the next month or so. Byeeeeeeeee!

 **I'm an idiot**


	8. ALLEGINCES FOR THE MADE-UP CLAN

EMBERCLAN:

LEADER: SWIFTSTAR: Pale white tom

DEPUTY: MOONBLAZE Black she-cat with one orange and one gold blue eye

MEDICINE CAT: SNOWFLETCH Snow-white tom pacifist APPRENTICE: SMOKEPELT

WARRIORS:

FERNSTEP: Tiny brown tabby she-cat

EMBERTAIL: Gray tom with a strangely flame-colored tail APPRENTICE: REDPAW

ORANGERIPPLE: Orange tabby tom

DIRTSMOKE (jk)

FLETCHSKY: Tinted blue gray tom

APPLEPELT: Very large tinted red she-cat APPRENTICE: SOILPAW

QUEENS:

BLUESONG: Tabby grey tinted blue she-cat (mother to HAILKIT and SLEETKIT, both 4 moons)

ELDERS:  
SINGEEARTH: very old pitch-black she-cat

FREEBIRD: Tiny gray she-cat

GREATJAMBU: Deep red tabby tom


End file.
